Conversation Starters: Home Dedication

Conduct a home dedication service with your family. A week or so before the set night, discuss with your family the reason for the home dedication. Talk about how all of your family’s resources are given to you by God and they are all to be used to honor Him. Point out that one of the biggest resources you have is your home. Outline the dedication time, how you will move from room to room as a family asking God to use this room to honor Himself. Point out that different family members will be in charge of what takes place in each room. You may want to just use rooms where guests will join you, such as family room, kitchen, dining room, and guest bedroom. Or you can choose to use every room. Assign different rooms to different members of the family, including your teens and older children. Find ways younger children and preschoolers can assist you. Encourage family members to think about appropriate Scripture passages to use, hymns or choruses that could be sung, and how prayer will be conducted. Close the evening circled up with your family in your family room or perhaps on the porch as the head of the household leads in prayer.

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Conversation Starters: Getting Our Way

We at Ridgecrest Summer Camps love to stand beside you the parent as you raise your kids. Aren’t all of our kids dealing with “getting their way?” I feel like this is something that they will deal with for the rest of their lives. Try these questions as you begin to talk with your kids about these things…

For Preschoolers
Next time someone upsets your preschooler by taking a toy or not allowing him to have his way, stop and listen to him. Don’t just brush his feelings off. Listen to him and then talk with him about how to handle the situations in a better way.

For Children
Write a story or draw what it would be like if every person in the family got their way. Let them draw each room the way it would look if they got everything they wanted. Then show them how it couldn’t work for everyone and teach them that they can’t always act on how they feel or what they want.

For Students
Talk with your teens about areas in which kids their age don’t show self-restraint. Tell them about what teenagers struggled with when you were growing up. Give them permission to talk honestly about areas of struggle, and pray together for strength.

How did it go? Feel free to share what happened….

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99 Thoughts on Parenting Teenagers

At Ridgecrest Summer Camps, we know that being a parent isn’t always straight forward. As you do your best to raise your campers, we want to supply you with a wide variety of resources. With that in mind, check out this book… The Truth on Raising Teenagers From Parents Who Have Been There by Walt Mueller

If you’re the parent of a teenager, you need all the help you can get. How do you help your children make wise choices? How do you give your teenagers freedom to make their own choices while still providing a guiding hand? How do you invest your time and energy in ways that make an eternal difference in your children’s lives?

Walt Mueller delivers the goods in 99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers, a no-holds-barred look at the good, bad, and ugly aspects of parenting teenagers. Drawing on his experience as a parent of four children who have passed through their teenage years, Walt shares wisdom, thoughts, insights, and suggestions for making the teenage years count.

If you’re a parent, you’ll want to read, devour, and absorb the dynamic truths in this book. And if you’re a youth worker, you’ll want to get this book into the hands of parents in your ministry to guide them, encourage them, and give them insights on fulfilling God’s great call to raise children who pursue a Jesus-centered life.

Click here to download an excerpt.

…Center for Parent Youth Understanding.

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Family Connection, More Than Words

As you continue to connect with your kids by talking with them and asking them questions, try to connect with them in a different way…

Another way is to be involved in a project as a family. Here are some suggestions:

Volunteer at a food bank or homeless shelter. Contact the organization in advance as many require appointments.

In many communities, families of children who receive free or reduced lunches during the school year struggle during the summer. Find out if there is a way your family can minister to these families during the summer months.

Giving Jar – Put an empty jar in a prominent place in your house and let your kids help decide in advance what organization will be the recipient of the money. As you add loose change to the jar talk about needs of people and pray not only about how you, as a family, can meet those needs but for the people receiving help.

Did you try it? Share what happened with us right here in the comment section. You may end up helping another parent as well…

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Parenting Anxieties

Will Jack and William make good enough grades for us to sport those “My Child Is An Honor Student at …” stickers on the back of our cars? When they start reading, will they read four or five grade levels ahead of all of the other children?

In soccer, will they be the best players and score more goals than all of the other children? If one of the boys decides to play in the high school band, will he sit in first chair? If he runs track, will he be the fastest and will he jump the highest and the longest? On the baseball diamond, will he be the best fielder? Will he hit the ball better than the others? Will he always be selected in the first round of neighborhood pickup game draft choices?

Will William Brady always be at the top of the list when friends send out invitations to birthday parties?

If Jack’s class at school is divided into sections, will he be put into the group with the brighter, more advanced students?

Read More…

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Balance for Dads

I feel like I have been working through Work – Life Balance every day of my marriage. And of course it gets more complicated with every child. And for me, the summer months are interesting, as I work all day/evening for 77 days straight (with 4 days off.) The crazy thing is, it works! Notice I didn’t say it’s easy.

My wife Amy and I were given some strong advice from some leaders in our life when we got married. We were warned about the challenges of balancing our relationship with Jesus, our marriage, our kids, our ministry, and our careers, and our social lives. This doesn’t include how we get involved in our community. How does a young, newly married couple manage?

Well, the more couples I talk with, the more I realize that we barely manage. Most of us fail at this balance, at least for a while. But then there are moments of fresh, clean air, untainted by the difficulties in life. Man, these good times… when everything is going well… those are awesome!

Here are a few wise words of advice that have worked for us! Dads, since I’m one of you, this will probably resonate the most with you. Listen up! There are only 5. (And I’m pretty sure I stole all of these from different folks throughout the years. I can’t take credit.)

1) Leave work at work. As hard as it was to start. This has been Huge for me! We work in a laptop/ipad/blackberry world. But it will change your life if you have the discipline to pick up and leave your office, and leave everything there (obviously not your blackberry). At first I was told it was impossible. Then I tried it….and have been doing it ever since. Try it for a week… see what happens with your time with your family when you don’t work at home.

2) Family First, always. A simple principle to try to live by. We watched an older couple live adventurously with this motto, and it was inspiring. We would say this simple phrase often as we tried to prioritize our schedules. Man, it helped us make tough decisions…

3) Meet your kids where they are. Intentionally move into their lives at some point every day. This means actually getting down on your hands and knees (without your blackberry) and play with your kids. The best time to do this is right when you walk in the door. Put your stuff down, greet your wife, and get down and play with your kiddos! Maybe you can only do this for 5 minutes each one day. That’s still awesome! They will notice it and remember.

4)Go on dates. With each person in your family. Individually. I try to go on a date with Amy, Piper and Lily each month. A fun way to go about it is to shoot for birthday DAYS. For example, Piper was born on the 11th. So, on the 11th of April, we took a date to “old McDonalds.” That’s right, the golden arches! Simple, affordable, but special every month. Just for her. We call them “daddy dates”, and my girls love them.

5) Say “No” to 3 seemingly important things a week. Believe it or not, one of my former bosses told me this one. If you feel like you are getting pulled in too many different directions, then you probably are. Say no to people. And remember to put your family first. By the way, it might help if you keep track of the 3 things you say no to each week. Try texting them to your wife, she’ll like to hear about them. And remember, these things will seem (and may be) important. Say no.

Like a Rubber Band. Like all practices, you can’t do them all 100% of the time, so just relax. Treat all this like a rubber band: be flexible, stretch it out when you need to. But remember, a rubber band always returns to it’s original shape. (Or if you are really with it… like a Silly Band.)

I hope these practical things help bring Balance to your life. When I am doing things like this, I find that I have more time with Jesus and can listen to what he wants me to be doing. And that is something I don’t want to loose sight of…

Phil Berry
Husband to Amy, Dad of Piper and Lily
Ridgecrest Summer Camps

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Parenting the Introverted Child

When discussing their introverted child, I ask a difficult question to the parents: “Are you disturbed (perhaps, even ashamed) that your child is an introvert?”

This is a crucial question for two reasons. First, whenever you focus too much attention on what you believe to be a problem, you can lose focus on your child. Children are too important to get lost in the search to solve problems. Second, if you are ashamed of your child’s introversion, it is difficult to support him as he discovers his place in the world. If you secretly hope your child will be something he never was designed to be, how can you promote his own self-discovery and success?

Read more…

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Conversation Starters About How Much Is Enough

We probably both agree that talking with your kids is important. As you talk to your kids this month, we at Ridgecrest Summer Camps hope that these questions will provide a few starting places for you as a parent. Below you will find different questions that are geared for specific age groups, all centered around the same topic: “How much is enough?” We pray that they are useful to you and your family.

For Preschoolers
Each night this week, make thanking God for the things we have (toys, house, food) part of bedtime prayers.

For Children
Are you happy with the toys you have?
How many toys will it take to make you happy?

For Students
When billionaire Rockefeller was asked, “How much money is enough?” it is said his response was, “Just a little bit more.” What do you think of this? What are the dangers of always wanting more?

How did it go? Share your experience with other Ridgecrest Summer Camps parents…

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Why “Giving Not Getting” is Best for Kids

by Dr. Michele Borab

University of Minnestoa study shows hidden dangers of materialism for kids. Here is parenting advice to help you tone down the gimmes and stress giving.

If you ever had even the slightest bit of guilt about saying “No” to your kids materialistic whims during these next few weeks, you can kiss that guilt away. A University of Minnesota study confirmed what every parent has instinctively known deep down: We’re not doing our kids any favors by giving in to their every whim and spending urge. Profound eh?

Deborah Roedder John and Lan Nguyen Chaplin, the lead authors of the study (published in t Journal of Consumer Reasearch) found that materialistic kids are less happy, more anxious, feel less secure, have lower self-esteem, less able to handle adversity, and are less generous and charitable.

Wow! And if that doesn’t convince you to hide that ATM card, read on:

The study also found that materialistic kids have lower opinions of their parents and argue with them more.

So now all you need is a plan halt the gimmes, and stick to it! Just think of the benefits: You’ll be saving money, be less stressed, save hours not having to shop, and boost your kids’ self-esteem! Sounds almost too good to be true. And what a perfect time to start than during the holidays.

6 Tips to Tone Down the $$$$ and Tune Up the Giving

Now I’m not suggesting you do a complete about face and cut out the presents altogether. Every kid will be out waving white flags come Christmas morning. But here are a few tips to help you put a little less emphasis on the $$$$ (i.e. “getting”) and a little more on “giving” this season and still make things reasonable.

1. Give things that boost “togetherness.” Think of gifts you do “with” one another. Board games, certificates to a movie, skating rink, tickets to a concert, exercise equipment.

2. Set limits. Put a dollar limit on just how much you’re going to spend and stick to it.

3. Require prioritizing. Set a cap on the number of gifts per kid. But warn the kiddies ahead. Tell them to think through what they really, really want and need this year. They must prioritize their wish list into their top three (or whatever number) wants. Young kids can draw their wishes.

4. Get grandparents on board. Pass on your new policy to grandparents. Suggest they give presents that will nurture their relationship with their grandkids such as a trip together, a digital camera to exchange pictures. They could also contribute to the child’s college fund.

5. Nurture a strength or skill. Instead of giving a dozen items that end up in the closet, think of gifts that could nurture your child’s strength or talent like a musical instrument, art materials, or horse-back riding lessons.

6. Be a charitable family. Find a needy family your kids can “adopt” for the season and buy presents for; bake an extra batch of cookies for the lonely neighbor next door; go caroling to a nursing home.

There are dozens of ways to rethink the holidays so our kids can learn that the real spirit of the holidays is about Giving not Receiving.  What are you doing this year to bring back a “giving spirit”?

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

For more Practical Parenting Advice follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba or refer to my daily blog, Dr. Michele Borba’ Reality Check. You can also find dozens of research-based and practical tips to raise strong kids from the inside out in my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

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It Starts When You’re Young

When I was growing up, my parents were more concerned with being able to put food on the table, not necessarily feeding my brothers and I the most healthy food.  Throughout college and the first couple years I lived on my own, I ate whatever was easy to make and least expensive because that’s how I was raised.  I am realizing that how I was raised plays a huge role in how I act today.

I am currently taking an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) class to add another level of medical care at camp.  While studying Anatomy, Physiology, and Cardiac problems, I realized how important it is to eat healthy and exercise.  The most important thing I’ve learned about Cardiac problems is that you can’t just start taking care of your heart when you are middle-aged.  You can’t reverse the plaque build up in your arteries.  It starts when you’re young!  That is why it is so important to make sure your kids are eating healthy and exercising when they are young.  They will continue those habits as they grow older because that is how they were raised.  Doesn’t this concept apply to other areas of life?  What about their friendships and relationships with the opposite sex?  How about time management if they are involved in extracurricular activities?

We focus on four areas of growth at camp-spiritual, social, mental, and physical.  We challenge our campers to be active at camp.  Your kids get to run around, go swimming, hiking, make forts, and do activities they typically don’t get to do at home.  We want to show them that exercising is fun especially when you do it in different forms like those just listed.

What activities do you do as a family?  How often are you outside with your kids?  How has your childhood affected who you are today?

Sharon Aylestock

Assistant Director, Camp Crestridge

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