When Kids Lie

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Phil

Just yesterday morning, it was a Monday, we were making sure lunches were packed and teeth were brushed before Piper and I rushed out the door to take her to school. I was quickly walking into the kitchen when I stopped at the door and my eyes locked with the eyes of my youngest daughter, Lily. She was caught “red handed” pouring her breakfast into the trash can. While I fought back the smile, I just stood and stared at her. She knew right away that she was busted. Her plan wasn’t hard to figure out… quickly pour out my cereal, leave the empty bowl on the table, tell Mom and Dad that I had eaten it all. Peace of cake.

I am aware, by the way, that this is a “little lie” and not a big deal. But somehow it was significant. This was one of the first times Lily had bold-faced-lied to me, or had at least planned to lie to me on purpose. And I couldn’t be happier how it played out. Catching your kids in a lie is precious, especially if we can catch them before they get too old, and it becomes one of their habits.

Plus, let’s be honest, kids beginning to lie to us isn’t all bad. They are starting to think for themselves…to make their own decisions… and to realize that Mommy and Daddy don’t know everything and don’t see everything. This is a good step to growing up!

So what do you do? How do you react to some of their first lies? Its a challenging question with lots of right answers, so here is what I did. I made a bid deal out of the lie. Who cares about the cereal, but the lie is the thing to focus on. There were 3 things I stressed when I sat on the floor to talk with Lily, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

1. In a very calm and loving tone I wanted Lily to know how sad it made me that she would lie to me. Oh, how it hurt my feelings that she wanted to tell me something that wasn’t true. I probably tried to say this same thing in 3 or 4 different ways to make sure she understood that we did not want her to lie…ever.

2. The second thing I wanted Lily to know was that she could always tell me anything. I would always listen and help her. She doesn’t need to be afraid to tell Mom or Dad the scary or hard things. We won’t turn our backs on her. We love her.

3. The last thing I wanted Lily to know was that not only do we love her, but Jesus loves her too, even more than we do! And Jesus can forgive her just like Mom and Dad.

Simple I know. Nothing ground breaking. But if we aren’t intentional, we end up telling our kids all kinds of stuff, especially in moments of frustration.

Do you have any comments or words of wisdom about when your kids lied to you? Any great stories? What about when kids get older? Comment below…

Phil Berry
Ridgecrest Summer Camps

 


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Praying For Your Kids

Posted on October 31, 2012 by Phil

You’ve heard it before. You’ve done it before. Perhaps you’ve done it today. But we all agree that we NEED to do it. I’m not sure that I’ll ever feel as if I’ve prayed enough for my children.

Sometimes I would try hard and think for something new to pray for on behalf of my kids. Part of this is easy as new challenges, new friends, and new situations arise in their lives. I find myself praying for those things. But I believe that there is enormous value in consistently pray for the same core things for your kids as they grow and mature.

When Amy and I got married a while back, one of my mentors named Charley, who is a phenomenal dad and husband, drilled praying for our kids into our heads. Charley is almost obsessed with his family and praying on their behalf.

Years ago Charley handed me a sheet of paper, with some notes on it. These were the notes he used to pray for his kids. These notes are still tucked in my bible and I still use them to pray for Piper and Lily each day.

I couldn’t think of anything better to leave you with other than a picture of this note. I urge you to print it out, crop it down, and stick it in your Bible, or your car, or your mirror, or over the sink…anywhere that you will see it every day. Don’t worry, it won’t take you long to memorize the list.

No matter how you do it, just do it. Go before the Lord every day on behalf of your children. And know this. Every morning at 9am, here in the Lake Lodge at Camp, we gather and pray for you and your family. Be encouraged and enjoy…

 

If you ever have questions about this list. Feel free to contact me, phil@ridgecrestcamps.com. I’ll be here!


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